Its gonna be interesting.. The other day.. I was walking towards Gym with one of my friends (Humara Bajaj).. and suddenly we realized that there had been a lot of cases of honeymoon babies in the town. One of our common friends.. one of my friends.. one of his.. and so on.. and as always while trying to debate about what could be the reason for such wonderful surprises (if not intentional).. our minds wandered back to those days when we bought condoms for the first time and how we prepare ourselves for it. So, lets try to figure out the battle a guy goes through when he buys the condom for the first time.. a little embarrassing.. a little anxiety or perhaps a sense of conquest.. whatever it is.. but every emotions stated here would be similar for most of boys turning man.. 

First, you make your mind that today is the day when this little boy will be man.. (Well!! not literally, you are only equipping yourself for a fortunate and long waited opportunity ).. take your bike and ride straight to chemist shop, the one in the corner of the market.. Very seldom people go there.. thats your chance of making your deal private.. wait.. there are 2 people standing there.. (F man.. I know that aunt standing there.. Oh crap!! what the heck is she doing in the noon arrgghh).. by the way you choose noon time for such shopping ..you walk around in the market.. go to a bakery, get something to eat.. (shucks.. man) .. Oh great!!! there she goes.. Hmm.. deep breaths.. lets go.. ok listen!! calm down.. you are not asking for any WMD!! its only a condom.. you are paying your social duty to do your bit to overly crowded earth.. enjoy your pride in this.. go son.. go.. now walk as if its something that you purchase more often.. chill!! .. Wait !! Fuck.. you forgot the names.. if he says he doesn’t have the name you ask for.. then.. holy crap!!.. Wait .. there is Kohinoor, Moods, KS, xxx,xxx,xxx ok.. lets decide order.. and listen you freak.. ask for alternative like a man.. as if you know these rubbers from experience not a wikipedia crap. Now.. you don’t want to be innocent little chap asking for Power-32, so just be a little rough when asking and don’t make eye contact.. pretend that you are busy with some other stuff important than these extra sensitive chemicals.. Do one thing.. may be fake a call and just slip your request in middle of your talk.. And most importantly know the price of the stuff you are buying.. you don’t want to embarrassed with no money and luxurious desire.. and always ask for Big packet.. that might add to your confidence .. CAUTION: don’t ever ask for that “whats in the black polythene” bag.. Pretend you understand.. “Jo bola wahin sikandar”..

Cheers

Loku

PS: It has been ages it seems since last blog and somehow I am struggling to take out time for my blog.. It seems pretty rusty now a days.. and as Chandan would always complain.. dude.. something is missing.. and I know what he means..

Tags: condom, Jo bola wahin sikander