Its gonna be interesting.. The other day.. I was walking towards Gym with one of my friends (Humara Bajaj).. and suddenly we realized that there had been a lot of cases of honeymoon babies in the town. One of our common friends.. one of my friends.. one of his.. and so on.. and as always while trying to debate about what could be the reason for such wonderful surprises (if not intentional).. our minds wandered back to those days when we bought condoms for the first time and how we prepare ourselves for it. So, lets try to figure out the battle a guy goes through when he buys the condom for the first time.. a little embarrassing.. a little anxiety or perhaps a sense of conquest.. whatever it is.. but every emotions stated here would be similar for most of boys turning man.. 

First, you make your mind that today is the day when this little boy will be man.. (Well!! not literally, you are only equipping yourself for a fortunate and long waited opportunity ).. take your bike and ride straight to chemist shop, the one in the corner of the market.. Very seldom people go there.. thats your chance of making your deal private.. wait.. there are 2 people standing there.. (F man.. I know that aunt standing there.. Oh crap!! what the heck is she doing in the noon arrgghh).. by the way you choose noon time for such shopping ..you walk around in the market.. go to a bakery, get something to eat.. (shucks.. man) .. Oh great!!! there she goes.. Hmm.. deep breaths.. lets go.. ok listen!! calm down.. you are not asking for any WMD!! its only a condom.. you are paying your social duty to do your bit to overly crowded earth.. enjoy your pride in this.. go son.. go.. now walk as if its something that you purchase more often.. chill!! .. Wait !! Fuck.. you forgot the names.. if he says he doesn’t have the name you ask for.. then.. holy crap!!.. Wait .. there is Kohinoor, Moods, KS, xxx,xxx,xxx ok.. lets decide order.. and listen you freak.. ask for alternative like a man.. as if you know these rubbers from experience not a wikipedia crap. Now.. you don’t want to be innocent little chap asking for Power-32, so just be a little rough when asking and don’t make eye contact.. pretend that you are busy with some other stuff important than these extra sensitive chemicals.. Do one thing.. may be fake a call and just slip your request in middle of your talk.. And most importantly know the price of the stuff you are buying.. you don’t want to embarrassed with no money and luxurious desire.. and always ask for Big packet.. that might add to your confidence .. CAUTION: don’t ever ask for that “whats in the black polythene” bag.. Pretend you understand.. “Jo bola wahin sikandar”..

Cheers

Loku

PS: It has been ages it seems since last blog and somehow I am struggling to take out time for my blog.. It seems pretty rusty now a days.. and as Chandan would always complain.. dude.. something is missing.. and I know what he means..

Tags: condom, Jo bola wahin sikander

Roughly close to 7 months after my graduation, when I started seeing the corporate world from a wide and different angle. Until that first day of joining, all I knew about this corporate world was, you do your work and rest is taken care of. Well!! yeah, people accuse me of being in the Shangri-La of IT community where everything was good, everybody shared a harmony with each other’s success, but I would always believe that it had to be the “I” that matters and that elucidates the working culture around you. But, post management studies all I know is.. I was living in Shangri-La certainly, a place that still is a myth.

People don’t seem to care anymore and its hard to find mentors at this level. YES!! they are busy, they have numbers to take care of and they are talking to people who would perhaps understand numbers only.. you ask them their name and all they remember is last quarter Sales figure that they had committed or delivered. Their phone will ring at 4 in the morning and some client will be shouting and they would then percolate their increased BP to somebody doing the actual field work. Shall I blame them?? I thought I could.. but then.. I couldn’t. That’s how this world works and specially Indian IT. For all they care is why is my client cash rich .. actually its a harsh way of putting things.. but if you want to change the system.. or be inspired by some Jaago Re campaign.. Wait!! are you freaking nuts.. better get your pay cheques regularly and be a part of system that somehow is working. And if for any reason you are inspired by Karl Marx or others then this is not perhaps a place for you.

Be it a coffee or beer or smoke session, all you hear when more than one person are involved is BITCHING about the confined buildings of your workplace. How some person who is given a cabin makes sure that you are assigned the work only 30 minutes prior to your scheduled time to leave office.. whenever you are on call with your wife discussing your plans to dine out the coming weekend, a Howler from client would come  the same moment making sure you are deprived of your much deserved break.. and finally the vanity he enjoys in making sure your every mistake is surfaced in front of your super boss (a typical shakuni act).. BUT

then there is HE!! I saw this man sitting next to my cabin calling his assistance after she got her rounds of “you just can’t do it.. can you??” shouts from the Boss of Boss.. All he said.. “why don’t you ask me if you have any confusion, you know my boss will not like it.. and don’t be upset.. your kids won’t like to see a crying mom with Big Red eyes back home.. will they?” and she walked like nothing had happened.. All zealous and merry.. ready to go home and cook dinner for her family.. Yups.. that caught me in shock.. I mean.. that came like a nostalgic moment for me.. for my first 2.5 years of professional life, where I was kicked but only to make sure I don’t repeat mistakes again.. where I was scolded to make sure I am a better professional and above all I was always heard whenever I wanted to speak. Some refreshment for sure!! for eyes to see him and for heart to be assured again.. We still have it in us.. to be  a better human or a better colleague OR is there really some voodoo involved or chanting for the word “BOSS”.. or its like.. if you are.. then YES you are.. “THE BOSS” !!!

Cheers!!

Loku

PS: Just to be sure.. this post came after a long time and was a cumulative effort of 10s of my friends and 100s of forums which do involve in “My firm is BAD” discussions. Well for me, its certainly not bad but yeah.. my first job, the first bunch of colleagues and above all those looooong hours making sure we deliver results were much more satisfying then doing strategy as MBA grad. Miss all that smell.. Am I a child again.. just wishing to play in my garden.. not really caring about “how can I optimize my garden space or how can I make the total cost of gardening lesser or perhaps how can I diversify my flower collection.. Cut the crap!! let me just get back to play.. and be dirty.. I am happy there!!!!

Tags: Boss, office talks, Shangri-La

Where are we going??.. I think lets go to nearest bar here.. and how many option do we have.. We have many..One there is this Apple AC bar.. Second there is this Crystal Bar.. But you think it will be ok to take Suuu with us.. Yeah nice question.. See I don’t know about this place and can’t say whether they will be shocked to see a girl next to them drinking.. Yeah.. It’s going to be fun.. let’s call it the place..

And hence we landed at Crystal Bar at Chennai.. By the way, for all of you who don’t know where I am.. I want to share my piece of trouble.. I am in Chennai, the capital of Tamilnadu.. TROUBLE?? why?? see for a hardcore north indian, yes this place is trouble.. for.. first you hate to see a girl wearing Patiyala suit, its almost vilifying the stunner look of this contour.. second.. how often you see.. i mean.. how can you see.. somebody serving Chilled beer with Rasam Vada.. as complimentary item.. WTF!!! I hate it I hate it.. wait.. I can’t really detest it.. its like holding the root of culture even if you are at 9th Cloud.. and yes.. That’s why this post..

Rasam vada with Kingfisher.. Wait.. Something is wrong.. i asked myself.. NO.. absolutely no.. there is nothing that is alien here.. its THE place of long held culture.. and you have to accept it.. but com’on you don’t need Rasam Vada.. with your chilled beer.. Look.. its already a challenge that you hardly find anything that belongs to your taste.. or say.. something which your taste buds are used to.. and then you make the “its not what I am used to” feeling.. worsening into “its not what I WANT to be used to” guilt.. but can you do anything.. No.. there is a big no Loku.. you better get used to.. and so.. I am determined to blend..ARE you serious.. oh!! shucks nooooooooooooo..

Cheers

Loku

Tags: Bar, Chennai, Crystal Bar, Kingfisher Lager

Don’t bother.. I mean.. don’t bother wondering that.. Why have I put this video so late on the blog.. I wanted to capture this moment here.. and thanks to Goli.. I have got some coverage in the video..

Cheers

Loku

Tags: Convocation 2009, GDEC08 Batch, GiMBA, MBA, SPJCM Celebration

All packing once again.. move to a new place Loku.. life has been all packing and moving since end of 2008.. and while stumbling upon these thoughts.. I was reminded of this video when everything starts as a beginning .. Never to End soon.. or Perhaps.. to be RELOCATED..

Cheers

Loku

Tags: GiMBA, MBA, SPJCM Celebration

Why?? Why on earth.. it’s me.. shifting corners on the bed.. I was wondering.. or put it..complaining to God.. Why of all 22 people.. only I was destined to go where I have no desire to go.. not that the place is not cool.. but hey.. I am a North Indian.. and that too.. that hardcore North Indian whom some of my Bangalore friends call Chopu (Chapati Oriented People).. and some one.. who is a typical “born and brought up in Delhi” dude.. And that’s why it didn’t seem ridiculous when I asked my dad.. Dad!! do we need Visa to go to South India.. I mean .. Northern part is India.. but for South do we need Visa or something of that sort.. Ya I know its disgusting to say so.. but com’on its not that disgusting also.. but then the place I am going is a world where people fanaticized about IIT-IIM tags.. and God only knows.. if some clothes would need cleaning also.. Look at me.. if you know me.. as in .. in person.. do I like look like the kind of human who would anyways fit in that land.. shit Noooo!!! I remember why Sanju called me Pervert Bastard.. not that I think of only puberty related stuff.. but yeah.. I get blunt or say OPEN while discussing things..

Just see the life November 2008 onwards for me.. First this Delhi dude went to Singapore.. the place which entertains any Indian who grew up reading Playboy.. in torch light under quilt in winters or in washrooms in summers.. (Well yes.. I am focusing here on Male community of India).. and at my age, that time, after living almost more than a decade with puberty shining.. I had my reasons to symbolize the place with orgasmic heaven.. For that you get to see ample skin.. and to add the cherry to the cake was sale of all kinds of alcohol in damn any retail shop.. like a Hajmola you’ll find in almost any shop in India.. or say.. Zandu baam.. (What freaking name.. but yeah.. I heard its addictive ).. Truly that place was THE turning point.. where I became utterly blunt in my words.. and attained that enlightenment when I started being the “he is such a pain in @#$” guy.. by the way.. its a must visit place for anyone..

And then to Dubai.. oohhh.. Damn it.. never really loved anyplace more than that city.. If you have money .. no place would make that huuuggee bags of money look insulted than this place would.. I somehow adore that place still.. though my friends are of else view.. Do I care.. Hell no!!!.. The only part of a female you will be able to see would be covered with Gold and more Gold.. and that too.. so much of it.. that you would .. literally start believing that the female is gold plated.. and yes.. its a place to see.. how imaginations turn to reality..

And then the twist.. Loku.. your joining will be in Bangalore.. and I was like.. OMG!!! See.. for people like me.. Chintu, Pintu, Monu, Tonu are names.. but the likes of names you may find in southern part .. we only learn that long words when we pass our primary education.. ( Yes.. public schools kids might learn a little earlier ).. but this place treated me so well.. that if not Delhi.. then Bangalore.. is where I would wish to live.. but the shock of the life came when final posting was set in the land of TamilNadu.. and then the torture started..

Everyone of my batch mate will sit with me for atleast 10 minutes with google map on computer screen and helping me in “Chenni Darshan”.. they all bloody exaggerate sooo much.. that it freaks the soul of me (Yeah.. I do have a soul, I have to.. i have read Geeta).. and I would literally start smelling coconut oil on the murg tangri (Chicken leg piece) I would be planning to have in lunch.. but then thats what friends are for.. Exaggerating things.. and making sure that you freak the hell from it.. I mean truly.. they are most hated devils around you.. exaggerating so much that it wouldn’t feel mad.. if they describe a mere handshake as an attempt to rape.. yeah.. true.. I would do that if someone had been in my shoes.. at this moment ..

Though I know most of the tales I am listening are nothing but bluffs.. or say.. “intended torture for me”.. I am so looking forward to see that place.. with my Avenger ( m planning to buy one ) and the places around..

Cheers Madi..

Loku

Tags: Bangalore, Chennai, Delhi, Genearl, North India, South India

Two killer incidents and here I am again..

Tea break.. and Gosh!! I love it so much after 1.5 hours of grueling session of fiddling my brain muscles with Payables, Purchasing and other of those Oracle Financials which are giving Larry Ellison a tough time in managing the cash he is dealing with.. I am really thinking of giving him a helping hand.. You bet.. back to Tea time.. I have this weird habit of picking as many mugs of coffee as I possibly can.. have turned big time into Caffeine addict.. and once i have my mug.. I need a place to rest my coccyx and the flesh that surrounds it.. Thats butts for people who haven’t figured out yet.. So while amorously sipping my elixir, this cute girl of our batch..happened to come over and sat beside me.. and as most of you would know.. I being a very shy person.. I didn’t not at look her.. and was patriotically enjoying mother earth.. and BANG!!! the lady wore Purple Sandals.. WTF.. who wears them.. A girl.. D.A. (Dumb Ass).. yeah yeah.. I know.. but Purple.. com’on are you so not sane to wear them.. No we indeed are (that’s the feminine side of argument) .. I mean.. there are so many good colors.. why this purple one.. and that too.. a bright.. killing your pupil entering through Iris and leaving your entire retina burnt beyond repair.. leaving a unforgettable trail of hatred for this purple color that everytime you look at brinjal.. you say.. NO.. Amma.. no brinjal in this house any more.. I have been Purple Sandalized for ever.. Well off course she must have her reason for putting them on.. which I believe was.. a white purple striped Tee.. But this all bring me to a haunting future of entering with my girl in a footwear shop.. and coming out feeling like accompanied by Rainbow bags.. which would have virtually all possible colors found on earth beautifully or say disgustingly painted..drafted.. whatever.. on some footwear.. and then terrorizing the entire nerve network of my Color-Recognition mechanism.. While I will most certainly fail to understand the rationality of such MATCHING, girls, in general, would always deny explaining the logic.. which I believe is a blessing in disguise for me.. or so I hope..

Excuse me.. I need to say a few words.. Blah Blah Blah.. and Oh Yeah.. I am a IIM-L grad.. WHAT!!! why the fuck you need to tell me that.. I mean.. tell all of us that.. it was like the shortest introduction.. “Hello, My name is XXX and I graduated from IIM-L..that’s it and that’s all..” ok.. Its one of the most disgusting thing I have recently noticed in not one but so many of IIM pass outs.. Their introduction starts and ends with IIM.. as if all they know is confined to these three letters.. IIM.. and then my opinion about them too resonates and confine to three letters.. ASS!!.. Not that there is any thing wrong in mentioning the degree for which a million people will kill you… but on the name this holy earth.. STOP.. when you must.. They say.. the moment baby is out of mothers womb.. it flutters for its own identity.. But no.. some gentlemen.. (I hate to use this word) would very annoyingly forget that the moment they are out.. they need to cut the placenta they were feeding themselves upon, during the gestation of their MBA.. and now need to create their own identity using IIM tag.. and not to USE IIM as their identity.. I have all the respect for IIM for the stature they have and those people who are doing the best to mankind after making it through IIMs.. but these few bunch of people.. ridicule me like a guy who very proudly wears same pair of socks everyday and never shy from removing his shoe showing the most stinking socks which have by then turned into darkest yellow and have possibly developed some fungus over them.. and then he says.. oh shit!! somebody here is smelling like a filth box.. YEAH.. some one is.. and its YOU..

Before I hit the publish button.. Let me again say.. That IIMs are the most wonderful thing happened to my country and please don’t spoil it.. and I must mention again that I respect this place.. and being a Business Graduate myself.. I know how an aspirant MBA look at them.. So.. lets simply not dilute the name..

Cheers

Loku

PS: Lately my bangalore friend has been complaining of diluted essence of my blog.. for which I am really thankful to him.. (For telling me) .. I am working on it.. but a rusty blogger generally gets trapped in I just need to blog state.. and looks like I am certainly fettered in this emotion..

Tags: General, Gyan, IIM Brag, Purple Sandal

“Hey!! Hi.. I am Varun.. You know your TCS phone Friend.. “.. “oh! Yeah hi.. ” and blah blah.. We talked for a few more moments until I played what I am best at.. Another “Near to Death” prank.. (yeah.. Death for me by the way).. “I think I am in love with you..Every one there in college keeps talking about you and me and how we can be the best couple.. So I came here all the way to confess my feelings..” She looked aghast.. Almost dropped to dead silence.. “No its ok.. If you don’t feel the same way.. I am not saying you also feel the same.. All I wanted to confess my heart to you..” She is still in the recovery mode.. But her history about being the Weapon of Mass Destruction and specializing typically in MALE GENDER made me to keep one of her most embarrassing moments to the length of gentle trot.. So I finally woke her up from her worst nightmare coming true.. But wait.. I am ME and so had to push it till the brim.. “Hey listen, I know people here in your college talk about us too.. But this chap Loku, he is pain in my !#$.. And made me come here all the way.. And you know how is he.. Nuts.. But know what.. I think he is right.. Though he always is.. But this time I want to thank him for finally realizing me that I am in Love with you.. And believe me that you are one of the most inspiring persons in my life as of now.. After certainly Loku (yeah I had to make that crap as I wanted to save my ass at the end of this whole drama).. So what do you say? Any chances of us being together..” She was still recovering.. By the way.. All of her friends used to be dictated by her.. So such a shock of life can accrue another Pokhran incident in the University campus.. “See Varun.. I don’t know what are you saying.. But I think I need to go.. One of my friend Swati is waiting for me and we had to go to some place.. Can we talk later.. (well by that she meant.. She wanted to delay my murder a little longer)..” .. “Wait wait.. Before you go, I think I must tell you.. (Run for your life.. Dear.. Run.. It was my internal communication channel).. I am not Varun.. I am Loku.. Hope you know me.. ” “What!! You.. “.. And how I love Swati that very moment for jumping right in and saving me..

Well yeah.. That was the first meeting we had.. And then.. Rest is history.. I mean.. I am in the ring and she is the Ring Master.. I know its not one of those Love at first sight story.. But I had a kick for that prank.. And to maintain balance and none of ass to be felt as left out.. I got two.. One from her and one from Varun.. Wow!! Sometimes I do think my life is so well balanced.. Haha..

So, what exactly is keeping us going for so long.. Well I have been fortunate.. Why.. Cuz I could always avoid the question .. “Why do you love me.. ?? .. What do you like in me the most..??.. And likes of so many of “You bet you caught me” kind of questions.. For which no boy will ever want to answer until it is made compulsory for going THAT any extra mile.. Its not that we don’t know the answers.. But just that.. We don’t remember what we told you last time.. So we avoid it answering at the first place it self.. And then.. We have quite similar tastes.. I like to dress fancy and she equally enjoys kicking my butt for that.. So there is this mutual understanding.. That I won’t deprive her of her enjoyment and she doesn’t of mine.. She is extra hot when it comes to temper.. And mind it she can blow your lungs..take your heart out.. And smash it in front of you and all that with no smile.. And yeah.. She knows where you face is.. So punching is just taken for granted.. While I always had a flavor of those violent moments.. I am currently at my excitement peak.. And the best part.. I don’t miss her.. Even though I am at 1500Km far off place.. Because my body still aches for our “You are so going to be belted loku!!”.. Its just that I can’t help myself.. And contrary to hers, I think my genetical analysis will surely put me in the closets of deep frozen people.. EXTRA cool..

Fun apart.. She has been the most wonderful and sweetest things to happen to me.. Ya!! I agree I had to throw out 90% of my wardrobe collection which could have sold for a million or zillion of dollars on the name of Modern Art.. But its ok.. Some sacrifice you have to make.. (And SOME here resonates with ALL) .. We are certainly the greatest chaps together.. If I say.. I still remember.. “No this is not possible.. To.. Hey when are you coming back” journey.. And I really thank God for being so grateful to me.. Blessing with first a good friend..then a best friend..and finally a mate for life..

On this beautiful occasion of Valentine’s Day.. I want to wish all you beautiful couple a very best of journey that is yet to come.. And as for us.. We are still fighting over .. Her falling for me cuz of my bravery to play such prank to virtually a real lady Don..

Cheers

Loku

PS: I am yet to recover from the shocking reading of my life.. Oh Shit, Not again!.. I will be posting on that too.. Soon.. And Yeah I got my broadband connection.. Airtel you surely suck when it comes to Customer Service and TATA you rock darling..

Tags: General, Love, Valentine's Day

I missed the chance to blog about my Amritsar Trip with Chippad and Nitin, which ironically was my first trip on bike.. traveling some 1200 km in 4 days of time.. So when I get to know of 8 other insane souls, I (which converted to WE soon) decided to spend our second weekend together.. (I mean.. outing.. ) and hence the infant gang of Wipro decided to pack its bag for 2 days and left Bangalore for a destination which was only planned on papers. .. and when I say on Papers.. I truly mean each possible connotation… We had no planning except that we were going..

While it started with a bang.. it ended with bang also.. First bang was JHA and his music DVD.. and almost the silent night of Bangalore erupted in awe ( Dont really want to use the word AWE but since it was first time, I am giving JHA a chance…) with Kanta Laga and Nigodi Kaise Jawani h Remix.. and slowly graduating to Khwaja mere Khaja on popular demand of Anand.. for his flavor of Bhagwan ke songs… believe it or not.. The vehicle (14 seater) had Sony 5.1 DVD Player installed.. and Good lord!! it had some base to play.. Although I still don’t want to think.. why would JHA keep such collection and what made him listen to “Lucky Boy.. U are my Lucky Boy“.. but anyways.. Jalan and his “never-out-of-mind” talks compensated highly for poor DVD by JHA..

And did I mention Suketu, the Dude-the Fafda-etc etc, boy.. Oh! God.. What a dude.. awesome.. not that he doesn’t understand our twisters, he just can’t decide where to keep things shut… He gives us.. what we look for .. I MEAN the chance to belt him.. and we do.. Jalan, JP are most of time the criminals.. who don’t even think before ripping his happiness.. But yeah.. this chap is great.. real gem at heart.. and perhaps he enjoys more than any one of us.. when he is being @#$!@#$!…

By the way.. let me tell you the places we went.. First stop was Mullahnagar (if i spelt it correct).. second highest peak in Karnataka.. and what awesome place it is.. you just fall in love with this place.. and second was K.Gundi.. and while on the way to K.Gundi.. we happened to enter the wild reservation area and DAMN!! what a freaking place.. so so serene.. and if I can take the liberty to use the word… SEXY place..or atleast the way to K.Gundi.. just AWESOME.. will soon be sharing the pics.. I am still waiting for Broadband at my new place..

Then after being at K.Gundi the next best thing was Hebbe Falls.. 400 or 500 ft. of height.. and GAJAB..

I will prefer the pics and slide show to speak the rest of trip.. as for now this is the link for Facebook album.. I will soon be uploading the slideshow ..

Take care darlings…!!!

Loku

PS: what is next!!! (perhaps Coorg)..

Tags: Chikmagalur, Hebbe Falls, Karnataka, Mullahnagar, My Travels

Just want to tell you all that i have been a little busy and just not able to find time to sit on my Laptop and do what i Love to..

Tags: Announcement, General